tonight

I thought I saw a shooting star but it was just the movement of the lights in the sky as I turned my head.

the broker informed me I'm broke

babysitting tonight. eitan, aged 5 3/4, asks how old I am.
almost 22.
so now you are 21?
yes, but I turn 22 in a month.
you're almost 30!
!!! still a long way off!

and this little piggy made me cry

Yesterday I sat in an armchair at the Einstein's in Posvar Hall doing reading before my seminar. I read through a codebook of the 2004 American presidential elections, in which respondents are surveyed on various things political from whom they voted for to opinion on health care. After many pages of questions came the respondent data, ie gender, age, marital status, geographic location, etc. I glanced over all of the data, looking at the spread of the 1,000 respondents.

marital status
xxx single
xxx married
xxx divorced
64 widowed

and I read this and saw sixty-four widowed and I started to cry.

ישראל

on this question

My closest friends and I met for lunch today. We were all pretty hungry so when the food came it was pretty silent until I realized that we were there to talk, not just consume in each others' presence. We discussed our futures, wondering which programs to do and where to live and where to go to school and what we actually want to do. I said that I was interested in a few different programs, but had decided not to pursue them because they would not lead (at all or soon enough) to my end goal, which is aliyah, moving to Israel. And that I must take everything on with a view of how it will impact my aliyah, or otherwise it will never happen.

And they, caring involved American Jews and fantastic friends, said that I shouldn't let aliyah or my dream of moving to Israel hold me back from pursuing these things. That moving to Israel will always be an option, at any stage (age) in my life.

But, the thing is, I want to live my life in Israel. Not just move there "someday."

אמא איפה את

rest stop along Israel's coast

and another

four.
I have a magnet I bought that is on the fridge, well the freezer really, in the upper-right corner by the manufacturer's label and eye-level (if you are 5'8") to the point of reaching over to open the fridge. it is one of those quote ones that I buy cards of for my brother every year. The magnet says:

do something today which the world may talk of hereafter (admiral collingwood)

and the thing is,
I don't know if I am.


Like, what have I done today? I met with my advisor for my independent study, wrote some emails, came home, put on sweats and tried to figure out my life for six hours while desperately craving a diet coke. maybe it is just because I am searching to find something fulfilling to work at and do and so it is especially emphasized that I am doing nothing now----but---argh.

one two and three

one.
my nose keeps on running. i think i'm done with it, but no, out it comes, screaming a welcome-back to college.

two.
life is a lot of work.

and.
meaning just everything- plans future school studying money job friends food rent chapped lips.

three.
highlight from my shabbat-
walking to mincha with F. (F=friend; numerous people have tried to set us up, but no.)
somehow shietels - wigs that married women wear to cover their hair- come up in the conversation.
I say I don't think I'll wear one.
F says (something like), who knows? maybe you'll wear one when we are married.
I say I don't think we are going to get married.
(glad we cleared that up)

three.one
I don't like the new beit habubot album as much as their first.

bright colors and squares

goats in the shomron.
delicious goats-milk yogurt.
















sun setting in itamar.














boy with his blanket.
(a hilltop settler)


















sun and a flag
(marat hamachpelah)




















thorned flowers
(looking into jordan)