chocolate

In the end, what I have come to believe about God is simple. It's like this - I used to have this really great dog. She came from the pound. She was a mixture of about ten different breeds, but seemed to have inherited the finest features of them all. She was brown. When people asked me, 'What kind of dog is that?' I would always give the same answer: 'she's a brown dog.' Similarly, when the question is raised, 'What kind of God do you believe in?' my answer is easy: 'I believe in a magnificent God.' Elizabeth Gilbert From her book: 'Eat, Pray, Love'

(in case you were keeping track)

Two men did two enchanting things today.*

1.
This morning, as I was walking into Posvar Hall, a man who had previously been walking behind me swept ahead of me, grabbed the door (a heavy door at that), and swung it open, ushering me in by a sweep of his arm and his words: "After you." My heart nearly melted.

2.
Tonight, as I was waiting for the 61c to take me home,** a man in a yellow fleece jacket approached the crosswalk on the other side of the street. He paused, scooped some snow up from the terrace next to him, and measured it out in his hand, weighing it, shaping it. He formed it into a ball as he walked across the street, and then, before touching down on the sidewalk, lofted it, fingers curling with the follow-through, into the air.



*it may be that more than two men did enchanting things today, but a) this is what I saw, and b) doubtful.
** it seems all I ever do is wait for the 61c to carry me home.

my carriage has become a pumpkin

among the notable things that happened this week (Kosovo is now independent, Israel lost at the Oscars...), I turned 22. horrible, to be sure. while, having lived four full days at this age, I have much to say on it, I shall write none of them here. first, my apartment is horribly bereft of chocolate. secondly, I done some reading, and I done wants to share some lines here.

a. from The World of Jewish Cooking by Gil Marks:
"The destiny of nations depends on what and how they eat."
- Jean-Anthelme Brillat-Savarin, The Physiology of Taste

b. from this glorious book, A Pigeon and A Boy, by Meir Shalev:

"'What does a person need?' she proclaimed one day after the first spoonful of dessert. 'Not much: something sweet to eat, and a story to tell, and time and space, and gladioluses in a vase, and two friends, and two hilltops, one on which to stand and the other upon which to gaze. And two eyes for watching the heavens and waiting.'"

"Because that was what one did at home. One returned home, and said hello, and heard the answer, and entered. And then one had a bite to eat and was overcome with joy: we are home. From the hill, from the sea, from far away. That is what we love and what we know how to do."

"The Baby dared to speak up in order to point out that the participants were projecting a human perception of maps and directions and compass roses onto pigeons. But perhaps, he said, she is unfamiliar with all of these, understanding one direction only, and its name is 'homeward,' unaware that humans give this direction other names--sometimes 'southward' and sometimes 'eastward' and sometimes 'north-by-northwestward.'"



It is a very good book. You, dear reader, should read it, and we will leave discussing my old age for some other time.

eep

Rebecca

• Age: 22

a navigationable life

1.
I have two 6-page papers due in...9 and 12 hours. amount written thus far: 4 pages. topics: Maimonides' basic views on the Land of Israel and economic and political inequality in America.

2.
the sidewalks at school were saturated with salt today. too bad it snowed for only half an hour. but I am glad to see facilities management is preparing for bad weather -- mayhaps it has something to do with the email I sent the provost?

3.
there is a major crack running down the corner of a wall in my bedroom--


















should I be scared?


4.
I'm currently wearing a new scent, composed of the combined elements of sweat and coffee shop. hm.

5.
tonight, waiting for the 61c's last run, pick-up at 1:14 outside hillman, were in the bus stop:
- me
- two guys, one telling story of how he was picked up and spent the night in jail for being drunk. many expletives.
- a guy and a girl, kissing very loudly.
- me.
- a bench
- me
- 14-degree F temperatures
- me


anyways.
peanut butter and jelly solves everything.

mmm

“Hope is a category of transcendence, by means of which a man does not permit what he senses and experiences to be the sole criterion of what is possible.”

David Hartman

i hear such different accounts as to puzzle me exceedingly

my roommate turned the heat off

and it is bitterly cold.
I have become wrapped in a blanket.



but, one must question (in all or somewhat seriousness)
why did God create the world?

thing one and thing two

thing one.
Tonight sitting on the floor while playing with her delicious seven month-old son I told f about my Israel activities on campus.
I think Israel consumes me more now than it did when I was there, I say.
That's the way it's supposed to be, she responds.


thing two.
(later) tonight while doing the dishes I noticed that I was singing the children's rhyme, "do you know the muffin man" (he lives on mulberry lane). except instead of saying muffin man I was saying matchmaker.


-here is a bowl of fruit on the red table-

this really cool new voice

tonight

I thought I saw a shooting star but it was just the movement of the lights in the sky as I turned my head.

the broker informed me I'm broke

babysitting tonight. eitan, aged 5 3/4, asks how old I am.
almost 22.
so now you are 21?
yes, but I turn 22 in a month.
you're almost 30!
!!! still a long way off!

and this little piggy made me cry

Yesterday I sat in an armchair at the Einstein's in Posvar Hall doing reading before my seminar. I read through a codebook of the 2004 American presidential elections, in which respondents are surveyed on various things political from whom they voted for to opinion on health care. After many pages of questions came the respondent data, ie gender, age, marital status, geographic location, etc. I glanced over all of the data, looking at the spread of the 1,000 respondents.

marital status
xxx single
xxx married
xxx divorced
64 widowed

and I read this and saw sixty-four widowed and I started to cry.

ישראל

on this question

My closest friends and I met for lunch today. We were all pretty hungry so when the food came it was pretty silent until I realized that we were there to talk, not just consume in each others' presence. We discussed our futures, wondering which programs to do and where to live and where to go to school and what we actually want to do. I said that I was interested in a few different programs, but had decided not to pursue them because they would not lead (at all or soon enough) to my end goal, which is aliyah, moving to Israel. And that I must take everything on with a view of how it will impact my aliyah, or otherwise it will never happen.

And they, caring involved American Jews and fantastic friends, said that I shouldn't let aliyah or my dream of moving to Israel hold me back from pursuing these things. That moving to Israel will always be an option, at any stage (age) in my life.

But, the thing is, I want to live my life in Israel. Not just move there "someday."

אמא איפה את

rest stop along Israel's coast

and another

four.
I have a magnet I bought that is on the fridge, well the freezer really, in the upper-right corner by the manufacturer's label and eye-level (if you are 5'8") to the point of reaching over to open the fridge. it is one of those quote ones that I buy cards of for my brother every year. The magnet says:

do something today which the world may talk of hereafter (admiral collingwood)

and the thing is,
I don't know if I am.


Like, what have I done today? I met with my advisor for my independent study, wrote some emails, came home, put on sweats and tried to figure out my life for six hours while desperately craving a diet coke. maybe it is just because I am searching to find something fulfilling to work at and do and so it is especially emphasized that I am doing nothing now----but---argh.

one two and three

one.
my nose keeps on running. i think i'm done with it, but no, out it comes, screaming a welcome-back to college.

two.
life is a lot of work.

and.
meaning just everything- plans future school studying money job friends food rent chapped lips.

three.
highlight from my shabbat-
walking to mincha with F. (F=friend; numerous people have tried to set us up, but no.)
somehow shietels - wigs that married women wear to cover their hair- come up in the conversation.
I say I don't think I'll wear one.
F says (something like), who knows? maybe you'll wear one when we are married.
I say I don't think we are going to get married.
(glad we cleared that up)

three.one
I don't like the new beit habubot album as much as their first.

bright colors and squares

goats in the shomron.
delicious goats-milk yogurt.
















sun setting in itamar.














boy with his blanket.
(a hilltop settler)


















sun and a flag
(marat hamachpelah)




















thorned flowers
(looking into jordan)

return (again)

Israel tomorrow.

I'm excited, but I'm not so excited. I mean, wasn't I just there yesterday?
But, sof-sof, it is good to return. Because the longer we are away from something the more we forget that which made it special.